


Omoide Illumination

by FallacyFallacy



Series: The Annual Christmas Carol Fic [10]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Dates, Getting Together, oblivious girls in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28233891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallacyFallacy/pseuds/FallacyFallacy
Summary: Months after the release of Storm in Lover, Umi and Eli are once again faced with performing a duet. From Umi's pen flows a romantic Christmas ballad, but that presents a serious problem - the idea of playing girl in love to Eli onstage makes Umi weak at the knees.However, Umi isn't the type to give up easily. To overcome her weakness (and for absolutely no other reason!) she formulates The Plan.
Relationships: Ayase Eli/Sonoda Umi
Series: The Annual Christmas Carol Fic [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/605920
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	Omoide Illumination

**Author's Note:**

> Two years ago, I wrote [a BanG Dream! Christmas fic titled after a Love Live song.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17118896) Now, I can finally return the favour!

The festive cheer of the Otonokizawa school idol clubroom, bedecked so diligently by the first-year members mere days earlier, does little to quell the kernel of nerves coiling inside Umi’s stomach. Her eyes lie stoically averted away from Mr Santa Claus’s rosy face smiling down at her from beside the window, and she spares nary a glance for Rudolph’s earnestly upturned gaze.

The moment she hears the faint sound of footsteps behind the door, her delicately folded hands clench.

“Good morning, Umi!” Eli calls out as she strides through, elegant and confident and so much more reassuringly unworried than Umi could ever manage to be.

“Good morning,” Umi responds, voice instantly muffled as Eli without hesitation heads over to give her a little squeeze around the shoulders before dropping down into the seat in front of her.

“So, like I said last night – I’m in love with the song. I really don’t know how you do it, making everything you write sound so unique!”

Umi ducks her head, fingers clenching again. “Ah – it’s nothing, really… If anything, maybe it’d be better if I could have a more consistent style...”

“No way – it’s way more useful to have that kind of versatility. Plus, it’s always fun to get to perform something different.” She smiles sincerely. “And seriously, there really is something else about this song… it took me ages to put my finger on it, but there’s something almost kind of _longing_ about it, underneath the typically idol-like surface? It really feels like a true love ballad!”

Umi gulps. “A-ahh, you really think so…?”

Eli grins. “Yeah! And I can already imagine how we’ll perform it, too-!” She brings forward her bag and takes out a few sheets of paper. “So, even before you got the lyrics down I was kind of imagining an icy snowy sort of vibe – I think that’d suit our two images really well, and it’d be a really fun contrast to Storm In Lover.”

“...hmm.” Umi stares down at the sketches Eli’s drawn – the poses are striking, and though Eli isn’t a costume designer, Umi can tell Kotori would be able to do a lot with the rough shapes and details Eli’s brainstormed here.

“But I’m also a bit worried about us fading into the background too much. I’m not really sure how to resolve that yet… this white/blue/silver colour scheme is so pretty that I don’t want to spoil it with too much bright red or whatever. The choreography might need to be extra dramatic for this one...”

...why did Eli draw them so far apart on the stage?

“Umi? Is something wrong?”

“Oh! Um-” Umi shakes her head, glancing back up at Eli again. “No, I don’t have any problem with these sketches. They’re all great, like always.”

Eli’s eyes are wide and encouraging. Umi swallows heavily. This is her cue.

“I’ve just… been a bit worried about something for a while now. And I had a really clear idea of what I wanted the lyrics to be when I first heard about this performance, but now that I have them down – and, mm, I am pretty happy with them… well, now I’m definitely concerned...”

Eli frowns, looking down at her notes. “Did you have something else in mind for this?”

“...sort of.” She sucks in a deep breath. “I thought that, since the two of us will be working together for this live, we should go for a more… mature kind of feel than I’d normally do. Like we did with Storm in Lover before. And so, I’m a little unsure, because it’s supposed to be a Christmas love song and all… but, erm.” She clears her throat, averting her eyes. “I… don’t actually really know what it’s like, to be… like that. With someone else.”

“Ahh.” Thankfully, Eli seems to understand immediately. “Yes, that does make sense. But, honestly? I think it’s fine if your performance comes tinged with a little more innocence.” Eli’s smile is far too warm. “Your purer side is very endearing, too!”

Trying in vain to tear her brain away from repeating those words indefinitely, Umi swallows. “In most situations I’d agree. In Mu’s, we obviously try to communicate the appeal of youthful school idols, and in Lily White, that sort of purity is a huge part of our aesthetic. That’s why I thought it’d be a lot more effective if we could do something completely different, here. In these duet pairings, we should be able to become a combined force and create something together that’s different from anything we could do alone, or in any other duo. In Storm in Lover, we were cool and mature and capable – and I really, really want to capture that again. Maybe even more so, this time.”

Leaning back, once again Eli nods thoughtfully. “You know, I think you’re right. Following on from Storm in Lover like that would really solidify our image. Great thinking, Umi!” And then, she chuckles playfully. “Though, I kinda personally feel like Storm in Lover would’ve been the more intimidating song...”

“B-back then I was still too innocent to even know how much I didn’t know.”

“So you’re not so innocent now? Joking, joking~”

Umi shifts, uncertainty growing by the second. For a second, she fully decides to discard her plan entirely and settle for spending some extra practise time watching romantic TV dramas with Eli or something.

And then she notices Eli’s necklace – a little bell on a gold chain, loosely encircling her long neck, pendant falling forwards towards her chest. It’s so Christmassy and pretty and -

“That’s why,” Umi says, and oh god now she can’t take it back, “I think what I really need for this live is… experience. Of romance.”

Eli’s eyes go very wide. “Oh my.”

“Or, um – not, not like actually going out and dating a guy,” Umi hurriedly assures, cheeks red. “Obviously, you know, I know we’re idols and we can’t do that and I don’t want to do that anyway. That’s not what I meant.”

Eli is rapt.

“What I mean is...er...” Here goes. “I think I just… need to go out and live what it would be like, to – to be dating someone. At Christmas. If I could, um, basically act that out, like a role… then I think my performance would be far more authentic.”

After a moment, Eli murmurs, long and low.

“That is… a very interesting idea.”

Umi winces. “Sorry – I know it sounds a bit strange...”

“No, no. It’s just like you to worry so much about this sort of thing.” Eli’s expression is unusually hard to read. “And if you think it’d help, I can’t see any reason not to try it out.”

Umi’s heart jumps. “G-great! So-”

“So do you-”

They both fall silent.

After a moment, Eli giggles. 

“...it’s up to you, of course, but… as your partner, I’d be more than happy to play the role of your pretend girlfriend. It sounds like fun.”

She smiles.

Umi wants to melt, so breathless she is with relief, but just as quickly the excitement and anxiety return. “R-right, great! Yes, I thought that would be the best plan of action – after all, we are supposed to be in sync for this performance, so it wouldn’t work if I gained a new understanding but you didn’t – not that I’m saying you don’t, um, understand this stuff either, but-”

“It’s fine!” Eli says with a laugh. “I get it! I’ve never gone on a date before, either – let alone at Christmas. So I’m looking forward to it already.”

“G-great!” Umi croaks out. “Um, I guess we should organise the place and time, then… and now that we’ve decided on a way to deal with that particular concern of mine, we can get back to planning the live. Sounds good.”

Eli giggles again, and even though Umi knows she’s kind of being laughed at, all she feels for a moment is happy.

*

Umi gets to the meeting spot forty minutes early.

It’s embarrassing to admit – she’s not a child excited to go on a school trip – but she’d been barely able to sleep the night before. The plan had made perfect sense in her head, but now that she can’t back out of it, she can’t stop worrying. What if Eli misunderstands her intentions? She knows that, from the outside, it does sort of look like she maybe just wants an excuse to go on a date with her.

But that’s not it. Umi really is worried about the performance – the lyrics had come from deep within her in a burst of inspiration and she’d known that they were right and good and perfect for this live, but once she set down her pen and stepped back she was overwhelmed with the certainty that she could not perform this. How on earth could she make the right gestures and put on the right face of a girl in love? How could she sing out in yearning when she didn’t even really understand what she was searching for?

And obviously she would have to do this practise with Eli specifically because they were to be performing side by side. While the song might be sung towards some invisible general member of the audience, the only other person she would actually be able to interact with is Eli, and so it was just the done thing that even these love songs were sort of kind of sung to one’s fellow idol as well.

Which. Honestly? Was kind of confusing and strange at times and Umi still didn’t really understand how some other idols managed to do it so easily. When Eli and Nozomi performed their duet it always just felt so _realistic_ that Umi could only feel her stomach turn in envy. It was just a sort of specific fanservice, she knew that, but even when they did Storm in Lover she hadn’t been able to give herself over to it completely and she’d always kind of regretted that.

And that was why she was here. If she was to be expected to act on stage, basically, as though she and Eli were deeply in love… she would need to learn to get comfortable with that.

Because right now, she felt anything but comfortable.

As a cool breeze brushed up past her, Umi self-consciously kept hold of her hat. It had taken her far too long to decide how to dress, torn between a very practical goal of obscuring her identity while she was to be engaging in such very un-idol-like behaviour, and a deeply selfish desire to look _good_. She had settled, eventually, for an updo, as it would disrupt the silhouette of her normally loose long hair while also revealing her neck which was something Umi hadn’t been able to stop thinking about recently. But by the time she decided it had been too late to procure Kotori’s help and so the ultimate product may have ended up less elegant and more just sort of messy.

It’s a strange feeling, standing by a train station watching people come and go. Even here, there’s no mistaking the season, between the ever-present snowflake decals and sleigh-bell-filled Western-style music leaking out of every little shop. For all her fondness of Japanese dance and archery, Umi has never minded such foreign things – there’s something _passionate_ about modern cities, ambitious and eager and confident, that appeals to Umi just as well. It’s great fun to go out hiking in the mountains, but walking around the city can be just as good of a workout and never fails to make her want to get back to work aiming for the day she’ll hear one of her songs playing out of a supermarket’s speakers.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket and Umi grabs it up instantly, but it’s just Honoka.

_Good luck on your date today Umi!!! <333_  
_Kotori-chan’s here and she says good luck too!!! :DDD_

Umi’s stomach lurches and she wants to insist that it’s not _actually_ a date, but a thought gives her pause. Has the pretending started already? Are Honoka and Kotori getting into character, too, saying what they’d say Umi and Eli really were dating?

Staring down at her phone, her chest flutters.

“Hey, Umi! Have you been waiting long?”

Umi jumps so high she almost drops her phone.

“A-Ayase-sempai! No, no, I just got here...”

Eli is gorgeous.

Her long blonde hair flows free, swirled around by the snowflake-tossed air. Her red coat clings to her waist before flaring out, short skirt just barely peeking beneath the edge to showcase her long, stocking-clad legs.

If this was a real date, Umi wouldn’t hesitate before calling her beautiful, but her words stick in her throat.

Eli slows as she reaches Umi’s position, boots crunching on a small pile of snow. Their eyes meet.

“...you look really pretty,” Eli says, soft smile quirking up into something more friendly on the final word.

“You too...” Umi says, breathless. “Um, I mean...” _It’s a date – do this properly_ , she scolds herself. “You – you look beautiful...”

For a moment, they don’t speak, gazing at one another in silence.

Finally, Eli lets out an awkward chuckle. “S-so, was that a good start, huh?”

“Yeah!” Umi replies, too loudly, and then coughs. “Um, yes – I think we’ve definitely got the mood right, here.”

She shifts, arms crossed awkwardly to cradle her elbows. _That was a pretty sudden change in tone..._

“Good!” Eli says, nodding. “All right. I’m glad we were both on the same page on how to go about this.”

“Mm. We’re in sync already.”

“Yeah!” Eli grins, and Umi feels some of her tension melt immediately away. “So, how about this – from now on, no more going out of character. Unless we really need to, I mean.”

Umi nods slowly, swallowing. “Yes. I agree. From here on, we will act entirely as though we are truly on a date.”

“Great. Full immersion is the best way to go.” When Eli is so confident like this, it really does help Umi feel better, too. “Starting… now.”

They stare at each other again. And then they both giggle.

“Okay, Umi-chan,” Eli says, and oh. That sounds _good._ “Shall we go?”

Umi can do this. It’s just a role. Gotta break herself out of her self-consciousness. There’s nothing to be afraid of.

She smiles, gesturing towards the station. “Absolutely! I was thinking we’d go and have something to eat at a cafe before all the lights go up completely, so we’d better get a move on before it gets too dark.”

“So forward-thinking!” Eli’s eyes are shining. “I really appreciate how you always try to plan these things out ahead of time!”

Umi hesitates, uncertain. “Oh! Uh, well. Thank you. I know I could probably stand to be a little more flexible, though...”

Eli steps a little closer. “Geez, Umi – you don’t need to always be so hard on yourself. I really like your plans – it feels like you just care so much, you want to do everything you can to make sure we enjoy ourselves. Right?”

Umi flushes.

Eli’s hand brushes hers just for a moment before she walks past. “All right, enough chatting. Let’s go!”

It’s one thing, Umi thinks, to know that you’re unprepared. But she is finally starting to realise just how very unprepared for this she _is._

*

The train station bustles with activity, long scarves and coats in bright jewel tones fluttering every which way as half of Tokyo seems to set their sights on the winter lights. Eli keeps close, letting Umi lead the way, but her eyes roam with unalloyed enthusiasm as they pass through the long winding hallways.

“Oh, wow – they’re really going all out this year.” When they pass a dark and cosy-looking tree resting invitingly beside an old-fashioned coffee shop, Eli sighs. “Kotori would love those little robins!”

Umi couldn’t have told you what species they were, but she can’t deny it. “They are very cute.”

Any sense of wonder disappears pretty quickly once they board the train, however – the busy throngs might have been pleasantly romantic in even a somewhat enclosed space, but packed into a tiny train car the mounds of bodies on all sides quickly lose their appeal.

Standing towards the middle, Umi finds herself pushed further and further close to Eli until the latter laughs beautifully and opens her arms to welcome Umi right up against her.

Umi stumbles, head turning so she doesn’t have to stare directly into Eli’s eyes. “I-isn’t that a bit too close...”

“Well, we don’t want to take up too much space, do we?” Umi miscalculated; Eli’s soft voice goes directly into her ear. She shivers. “And I’m actually kinda happy to have a chance to get closer to you...”

Umi can’t look. Her cheeks burn as Eli’s hand presses against the small of her back, bringing her front flush with Eli’s. She always smells good, but today there’s something else to it – some mature fruity scent mingled in with her normal aroma. Umi should ask what perfume she’s wearing, or what she does with her skin to get it so soft and smooth, or how she curls the tips of her hair just so across the angles of her shoulders, but her throat is locked up.

Eli doesn’t speak either. As the train gets moving, Umi’s heartbeat doesn’t slow, but her breathing calms. Head tucked in over Eli’s shoulder, her eyes flutter closed.

_This is nice…_

And then at the next stop an older woman jostles through the crowd so roughly that Umi gets elbowed in the back, and once the crowd rearranges and settles back into place again she and Eli are standing side by side.

As Umi fumes, Eli smiles sympathetically and offers her hand.

Umi takes it.

Even as the train reaches their station, Eli doesn’t let go – instead, she squeezes Umi lightly. “Better make sure we aren’t separated until we can get out of here.”

Deep down, Umi doesn’t think anything could separate her from Eli right now, but she isn’t here to argue. “That’s a good idea.”

Once more they traverse through the crowds, winding their way as much through friendly Santa statues and nutcrackers as they are through people. Eli giggles, fingers tightening over Umi’s again.

“It’s exciting, isn’t it? Even though we’ve seen it all so many times before.”

“Well, we can only do it once a year. So every time, it’s still new, in a way.”

Eli’s eyes sparkle. “You’re right. Old and yet new… every time you see it you’re a new person, looking with new eyes, so what you’re seeing changes, too.”

“Right, exactly!” Umi grins, glad to be understood. “Now that I think about it, this is also a rare opportunity for us to be in the audience. This is what our fans get to experience every time they come to see us.”

Eli hums in clear agreement. “Experiences like this are good for us, too – we need to remember what it’s like to be the observers so we can make sure we match their expectations.”

“Yeah!” Caught up in her excitement, Umi remembers the Plan. “Y-yeah, I’m already learning a lot today, aren’t I!”

After a pause, Eli looks at her with wide eyes. “Are you doing work today? On our date?”

_Oh. Yes. No more going out of character._

Umi flushes, swallowing. “O-oh, ahh – well, everything is a chance to learn new things, after all...”

Eli shakes her head affectionately. “You’re too hard-working, Umi-chan. It makes me a little jealous...” She sticks her tongue out for a moment. “Today, you should focus all your attention on me, okay?”

Umi’s breath catches. “I-I… of course! Ayase-sempai… um. Eli.”

The look Eli gives her is so fond and so approving that Umi feels herself lighting up from the inside out.

Then Eli glances forward and grins. “And here we are!” 

They step out of the station’s entrance, presented immediately with a long street framed on both sides by gnarled branches lit up by ivy-like strings of yellow-white lights. The many passers-by set the shadows dancing, making swirls of light and dark across Eli’s cheeks, but her icy blue eyes shine brighter than any other glow.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Eli asks.

Umi nods shyly.

“Oh, and look just down there – a cafe! And it looks so cosy, too. You wanted to eat first and walk around the light afterwards, right?”

As Eli’s hand releases from Umi’s to gesture forwards, Umi momentarily second-guesses herself, but then shakes herself out of it. “Yes – the lights will be better after the sun goes down.”

The cafe really does look lovely – it has a wonderfully elegant green and gold exterior and the inside is all dark brown wood, which matches perfectly with the alternately red and green striped tablecloths and little sprigs of holly hung up under the low ceiling. As it’s still a little early they don’t have to wait too long for a seat, tucked in at the back next to the tinsel-strewn tree.

“Harasho! They have spiced tea here! You have to try some – I had it all the time around Christmas when I was a kid!”

“That sounds delicious! I’ll definitely go with that, too, then.”

As they wait for their meals, Umi can’t stop looking around.

“I used to see cafes like this all the time when I went out as a kid, but we never went – the Kousakas preferred us to eat at their bakery, of course. So these places always seemed very mature and grown-up.”

Eli leans forward over the table with sincere interest. “I can just imagine the three of you playing out in the snow together back then.”

Umi chuckles. “Yes, we used to do that all the time. Honoka was constantly trying to challenge me to snowball fights, even though she always ended up surrendering first… And while we were fighting it out, Kotori would build the most beautiful snowmen! But she’d always feel bad that they didn’t have anything to warm them up and would want to leave her gloves and scarf with them.” Umi laughs at a sudden memory. “Once, she even left her coat there, too, but then we all got distracted chasing after something and couldn’t remember where she’d made him… Honoka and I lent her our clothes, but then we were cold, too, and in the end we all ended up sick. I was so disappointed I had to stay home for three whole days...”

“That sounds like so much fun.” Eli tilts her head fondly. “It makes me a little sad that I didn’t get to take part in anything like that when I was younger.”

“Well, I cannot change the past, but… you don’t need to be lonely right now! Everyone at Mu’s considers you a very important friend, and will surely stay with you for a long time! And…” Umi bows her head coyly. _In-character, Umi! You can do this!_ “And… I will stay with you as well, for as long as I can.”

Eli looks sincerely touched. “Thank you, Umi. It makes me really happy to hear that.”

_Do the role. Perform, idol!_

Haltingly, Umi reaches out her hand across the tabletop. After only a moment’s hesitation, Eli takes it.

“Your cake, madams?”

Umi jumps, pulling back her hand immediately. 

“Ah – yes, yes – right here!”

As the waiter walks away without another word, Eli giggles again, scraping her fork across the plate.

“Shall I feed you as well, Umi-chan?”

The pristine bite of cake glistens enticingly.

But even acting can only take Umi so far.

“A-absolutely not!” Umi cuts a piece of her own cake and shoves it into her mouth.

Eli laughs. “Sorry for teasing – it’s definitely too public here, huh?”

Embarrassed and pouting just a little, Umi merely nods.

“In that case, why don’t you tell me some more stories about when you were kids instead? I’d love to hear everything you got up to when you were young.”

That does sound enjoyable – and it doesn’t take long for Umi to come up with several more stories she could tell.

After swallowing her bite of cake, Umi gets into it. “So, one year the Kousakas decided to put up a tree in their bakery for the first time, and of course Kotori and I had to help set it up...”

When Umi watches Eli perform on stage, or read out speeches in front of the entire school, or even simply mentor the rest of Mu’s in their dancing and exercising, she is nothing short of stunning, and Umi is often at a loss to do anything but gaze at her in wonder. She is elegant, beautiful, intelligent, and driven – the perfect woman.

But she’s also one of the kindest people Umi has ever met.

She doesn’t preen under Umi’s attention or sit smugly back in self-assured leisure. Whenever Umi finds herself lost for words, a sigh caught in her throat or a grunt of frustration curling her lips, without fail Eli will turn to her and smile with honest friendliness and bring Umi in to whatever she is doing.

From afar, Eli is a queen. But when it’s just the two of them talking together like this, Umi sharing her thoughts and stories and opinions and Eli listening attentively to contribute her own well-thought-out ideas, Eli feels like an old friend.

Eli is intimidating – and more lately, somehow, than usual. But Umi has never met anyone more who makes her feel like she can be _better_. In terms of sheer motivation, Honoka wins out over all, but Umi always feels there as though she is being dragged along (if enjoyably so). With Eli, Umi feels like someday, she will stand beside her as an equal. 

And most of all, she feels like Eli _wants_ her at her side.

They sit and chat all through the sun’s setting and Umi barely even notices, too caught up in Eli and the little world encapsulating their table. Just as Eli had said earlier, while the jazzy music and glittering tree might have been staples of their childhood, they are viewing it all from a different angle.

But maybe Eli had missed part of it. It’s not only Umi who has changed – her company has, too. Eating Christmas cake with Eli is just different from eating it with Honoka and Kotori or with all of Mu’s. It makes her chest flutter with something soft and sweet as whipped cream. She sort of wishes she’d let Eli feed her; she wonders what the cake would have tasted like, then.

As Eli turns to look out a window behind her, Umi realises with a jolt why this outing is so different. Honoka and Kotori and Mu’s will always be with her, but Eli will never go out with her like this again.

Her stomach aches so painfully that Umi worries Eli will hear it, but Eli remains in place, gazing out at the white slowly falling outside beyond. She’d been so worried about how she would manage to act out the script of this mock date without embarrassing herself, she hadn’t realised how much she was enjoying herself. And now, she never wants it to end.

 _“...it took me ages to put my finger on it, but there’s something almost kind of_ longing _about it, underneath the typically idol-like surface? It really feels like a true love ballad!”_

Suddenly, it’s hard for Umi to swallow. Despite the warmth of the cafe and her recently-drunk tea, she feels cold.

“Ah, sorry, Umi-chan – I couldn’t stop looking at the snow out there...” At Eli’s soft voice, Umi finally fixes her gaze on the window Eli has been staring through. Delicate flakes seem to glow under the streetlights, lit up in a rainbow of colours by the multi-coloured fairylights strung up around the window.

Umi couldn’t have asked for a better date atmosphere.

 _It isn’t_ , she thinks to herself, _over yet._

“It suits you,” she says quietly. “The lights.”

Eli’s eyes widen, lips parting in a soft ‘oh.’

Umi lets her eyes do what comes naturally to them, tracing over her dark eyelashes and down her swan-like neck.

“You look beautiful...” she says. “Eli.”

Eli stares back, lips and cheeks pink.

Finally, she lowers her gaze, eyelashes fluttering.

In a low, intimate voice, she remarks: “You’ve become quite the charmer, Umi-chan.”

 _Did I catch her off-guard?_ Excitement pulses through her, hot and thrilling. She scans Eli’s face for the hint of a blush, but when Eli looks up again, it’s Umi who sits back, self-conscious in her sudden elation.

“Well, I think it’s about time we take a look outside then, hmm?”

It always ends this way. Umi can’t look away.

However, as they approach the register, Umi clears her voice.

“Ah… I will pay for our meal. As I was the one to ask you out today.”

That’s a slightly fanciful reimagining of the situation but after a moment’s pause Eli relents, unable to come up with any in-character objection.

“Thank you, Umi-chan. Just this once, though.”

Well. Obviously.

Umi pays for their meals with gritted teeth, trying not to let a grimace mar her expression as they head out into the night.

The wind bites at their exposed skin as they pull back on their coats and gloves. Far above the sky is dyed a deep dark blue, but their eyeline is dominated by the soft orange glow of streetlights, flickering as they walk between shadowy tree branches.

“It’s pretty,” Eli breathes out.

Umi notes it all with cool satisfaction. If she can precisely calculate the angle of a ‘Love arrow shoot,’ she can do this, too.

“It’s colder than I expected,” she murmurs, shoulders hunching for effect.

Eli glances over warmly. “Here – come in close to me,” she says, holding out her arm.

Unexpected; Umi had been trying to induce Eli to agree so she could offer her hand. But this is a good move, too.

“Thank you,” she says, offering just a moment’s lingering eye contact before she moves in close and tucks her arm through Eli’s.

It really is warmer this way. Her chest flutters, that same yearning feeling at once distracting her and strengthening her resolve. Eli’s arm is as secure and strong as Umi had always imagined, and she resists the urge to relax and allow Eli to guide them both forwards.

They stride with unnecessary speed down the street, marching in time until they find their way blocked by a crowd of tourists.

Umi spares just a moment to be unreasonably annoyed at the loud shouts of a nearby preschooler before she clears her throat. “There are a lot of couples around here.”

Eli nods with a hum. “It’s pretty popular as a date spot. There are a lot of Christmas parks in Tokyo, but this is said to be one of the better ones.”

She pauses just for a moment and then continues innocently: “I even did a photo shoot here.”

Umi frowns – one for Christmas? That’d mean -

“...the one you did with Toujou-sempai.”

“That’s the one.” Her lips quirk, much less innocent now. “Did I make you a little jealous?”

Umi purses her lips. That is exactly what she does not want to be thinking about right now – how easily the two of _them_ could pull off a romantic Christmas duet.

“Sorry,” Eli says with a very unapologetic giggle. “I’m being mean. But hearing you talk about your childhood friends in the cafe made me a little jealous, so I had to return the favour some way…!”

So it wasn’t about having a childhood friend?

“...wait, was it because you wanted to-”

Eli’s eyes twinkle.

After a moment of staring, chest growing too tight, Umi steels herself.

“...fair is fair,” she says simply, as the crowd breaks and they continue again.

As the hour turns, they spend their evening chatting on and off. They pass a drink vendor and warm their hands on steaming hot chocolate, disentangling their arms from one another with a sympathetic giggles. Eli watches over Umi’s shoulder as they pass shop windows, marvelling at the colorful contents and pretending with mysterious hums that they bought each other Christmas presents weeks ago. The cold weather here is just enough to pink the cheeks and send up frost with one’s breath – the body heat of the crowd and the tall holly-strung walls of concrete buildings either side keep the icy chill of the wind at bay.

As a scene it’s deliberately surreal – scattered lights sending shadows out at every possible angle, snippets of familiar songs mingling like passing flocks of birds. Here they can smell cinnamon, and there gravy, and all around the enriching earthy scent of fresh pine. As they pass a bust of Father Christmas exonerating them in perfect Japanese to buy mochi, Eli tucks her chin against Umi’s shoulder and hugs her briefly from behind.

Even as Eli breathes and Umi can feel plain as day the warmth of her arms, she has the vivid sensation that in the performance of her life this night is a _montage_. Her surroundings abound in unique sights and experiences, and she will dabble in each one for only a moment before moving on, so at the end of it all this evening will only have lasted three minutes or so. She isn’t here, not really – she is seeing it play out as a movie before her eyes, watching almost as an observer as Eli pulls back and Umi retangles their hands.

But, she thinks distinctly, too quietly to silence, it’s better than nothing.

As families head home and the stars shift across the sky, they migrate wordlessly to the tree at the end of the square, standing together as they gaze upwards.

Umi shifts ever closer, clinging to Eli’s arm with almost embarrassing strength.

She can’t let this end. Not here. Not now.

“...I guess we’ll have to go home soon,” Eli says softly.

Already Umi has done so much more than she ever planned. She’d just thought they’d hold hands for a while, and Umi would choose to stare at her longingly for a bit to get the right sense of it. She had wanted to overcome her weakness and increase her skills as an idol and, maybe, just a little bit, create a fun memory with a close friend and admired sempai.

The tree before her stretches up, up, up, and Umi is so close she can’t see the top even if she strains.

Honoka really has changed her, Umi thinks. The past Umi would have said the right words and walked away here, just as planned.

She doesn’t think about it, consciously – like reciting lyrics in a much-rehearsed performance, it come welling out of her, matching to music Umi can’t hear.

“...did you want to come back with me?”

Eli’s arm tenses; Umi doesn’t look. Her gaze is fixed on a silver bauble, reflecting back a dark shape with two heads and one body.

“...I’d like to try it. Kissing… you.”

Umi breathes in and out.

The seconds drag on without response.

In one sudden, arbitrary beat, Umi’s confidence is punctured. She breathes in, chest tight, somehow more anxious than she’s ever been.

When she finally looks at Eli, she’s staring back at her with shocked understanding, and Umi _panics._

She pulls her arm out of its lock, stumbles back three steps and almost slips on the snowy cobblestones.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry,” she babbles, “That’s taking it way too far. I’m really sorry, I-I just -” her tongue twists, growing stiff and unyielding now after running so freely before. “That – the-the kiss, it’s such an important part of, um – romance… And I, I was thinking that in the song lyrics, the singer is probably wanting to kiss the one they love, and so I should at least know what that’s – like? To, to be able to sing like I want that, so...”

“...Umi,” Eli breathes out, long and low.

“But you don’t have to do that. I’m sorry – it’s just, you said we couldn’t go out of character so I had to ask in that weird way, like I was serious.” Umi laughs and it sounds awful. “I mean, I was serious about all the idol practice stuff, but I wasn’t like – I wasn’t-”

Eli has turned to face Umi head on, tree and crowds non-existent in the face of her expression of firm sympathy.

“Umi,” she repeats, leaning forward to say softly, “did you ask me out here today because you had feelings for me?”

“No!” Umi says immediately, shout drawing the attention of onlookers in its volume. Umi glances around helplessly, desperate to prove herself entirely normal. “No, I would never do that! I swear I was only thinking about the song, and how I wouldn’t be able to do it otherwise...” 

She should be calm and controlled and refute Eli rationally, but with every word she speaks Eli’s eyes crease further and Umi’s heartbeat quickens. She realises to her fury that her eyes are watering, but she can barely take in a breath before the excuses pour out of her. “Are you asking if I would – would lie to you? And try to manipulate you into something, out of some ulterior motives? I wouldn’t do that! I can’t believe you would think that!”

She hugs her chest, breath coming quick. She hates this, she hates herself, and she hates the way Eli keeps Looking at her, in that way people always do when her emotions get the better of her and she can’t lie, but this is the worst it’s ever been and Umi would do anything to take this back.

And then, Eli’s sympathetic pose wavers and disappears. Instead she regards Umi blankly, her neutral countenance a new sharp shock to Umi’s nerves.

“...I see. That wasn’t your intention, then.”

“No!” Umi repeats, like a stupid child. “I wouldn’t do that to you. You’re my friend,” she says, and her voice goes terribly and high pitched and teary on the final word and it’s all Umi can do to sniff and shut up.

“All right,” Eli accepts smoothly. “Hmmm. That’s okay.”

Umi stares, untrusting. Eli twirls, hair spinning prettily, and clasps her hands behind her back.

Gazing up through the pine needles, she speaks so warmly that it takes Umi a second to understand.

“I did.”

Umi’s chest pounds. “D-did what?”

Eli’s eyebrows raise – it’s the ‘Umi, you must know what I’m talking about, right?’ face.

“Come here with ulterior motives.” She glances at Umi, just once, eyes betraying no more than she says. “I did that.”

The ground underneath Umi shifts up, resets at an angle, and remains there.

She just gapes, mouth opening and closing. “You… you, I...”

Eli bites her lip, fingers fidgeting delicately. “I was really surprised when you brought it up, of course. I hadn’t thought you’d want to do anything like that for yourself – not yet, anyway. But, as soon as you said it… I wanted to be the one you went on a date with. Not anybody else.”

Umi’s tearing up again but for all her chest feels like it’s about to burst she still doesn’t understand.

“But… we were just-”

“And then,” Eli continues amiably, “after we made our plans, I thought about it… and I was really looking forward to it. Even more than I expected.”

Eli hesitates, just for a moment. For the first time since Umi had complimented her in the cafe, she looks out of sorts. But with a clench of her fingers, she continues.

“I realised that I really wanted to get closer to you. And I hoped that you’d take it really seriously and make some moves yourself so I could…” She shakes her head. “Well. The point is, I like you a lot, Umi.”

Umi shivers, knot in her throat loosening so fast her mouth feels dry. The ground shifts, again, and Umi would only need to reach out-

Eli says all in one breath “I think I have feelings for you, too, Umi.” She pauses. “Or maybe it is just me. I’d still prefer to think that you like me, now, obviously. But maybe you really don’t and I’m just sort of making an idiot of myself here.”

Eli’s sleeve, deep heart-throb red, is right there-

“I mean, I don’t regret telling you either way,” Eli continues, her perfect capable sempai tone just a little bit too high-pitched to be natural. “I don’t think it was wrong of me to come along with this while I had feelings for you but I do agree you deserve to know how I feel. And this is, indeed, how I feel, so – it’s better if I say it. Mm.”

Umi’s fingers splay, ring finger brushing the seam at Eli’s shoulder.

Eli stops instantly, words silenced. She swallows visibly, eyelashes fluttering.

Umi didn’t expect this to feel so easy. The blocks, the flustered overreactions, the rationalisations – those had taken effort, the same conscious willpower as when she jogged to keep herself fit for dancing or scoured through her mind for song lyrics.

The lyrics to her new song hadn’t been hard either, really. They had flowed from her like streams of water, drawing new trails over soft skin.

“...Eli,” she says.

Eli’s breath hitches.

Umi smiles. She looks at Eli’s lips; at her bare collar; at the snowflake resting just above the tip of her ear.

“...did you want to come back with me?”

As soon as she says it she flushes, nervous and excited all at once. “I mean, only if you want to. My house isn’t, um, too far… and I thought we could have a sleepover, maybe…?”

Slowly, Eli smiles.

“Yeah,” she breathes out, warm and grateful and relieved and so happy that it makes Umi grin herself just to hear it. “I’d love to, Umi.”

Her arm curls around Umi’s, where it belongs.

As their boots ring out in rhythmic percussion, Umi promises to buy Eli a real Christmas present, and Eli asks if she should keep calling her ‘Umi-chan’, and nobody mentions fellow sempais or childhood friends.

And in the end, Umi does get to learn what kissing feels like.

*

Nico frowns.

“Umi-chan, that was so good!” Honoka predictably cries out, clapping madly.

Rin joins in as well, arms pumped. “You guys look amazing! I can’t believe you’ve done so much already – me and Kayochin are gonna work eeextra hard to catch up!”

Eli and Umi share grins, still breathing heavily. “Thanks, girls,” Eli replies, wiping off the sweat with her towel. “We’re a great team!”

“You captured the theme very well,” Nozomi agrees, and Umi puffs out her chest just a little bit more in pride. “The elegant icy aesthetic works great for you guys.”

“Hmmmmm,” Nico says, drumming her fingers on her knee. “Is that what you all _really_ think?”

Umi halts her post-rehearsal ablutions, focus immediately locking in on her sempai’s criticism. “Why? What do _you_ think, Yazawa-sempai?”

Nico sighs deeply, brow furrowed. “Well, I do agree that it was a good theme idea. It was a smart move to tie it in to Storm in Lover and hammer in your identity as a distinct duo like that.” Umi’s pretty sure neither of them ever even explicitly said they were doing that, but it’s no wonder Nico picked up on that all herself. “The lyrics match the atmosphere as well – more mature and lonely, like you’re waiting for someone in the audience to finally reach out and take your outstretched hand!”

Nico pauses, then returns her hand to her lap.

“The problem!” With a thud to the roof floor, Nico announces her opinion: “is the performance itself! It doesn’t match anything else at all! Sure, you’ve got some high-level choreography, and for most idol performances your tone would be perfect. But this is a slow, somewhat sad song, and you guys were jumping around up there like bunny rabbits!”

Umi shifts uneasily, but before she can say anything, Eli hums.

“So, you’re saying our movements are too energetic, and we should slow it down?”

“That’s just to start!” The thrusts out an accusatory finger at each of them. “I mean, why do you guys look so happy?! You’re meant to be lost in the throes of unrequited love!”

Umi blinks.

“Hmmm,” Eli murmurs again, and Umi can hear that she’s struggling not to laugh. “I see.”

“This is no laughing matter! I don’t care what the two of you are doing in your personal relationships, but a sad song needs to be sad!”

“Thank you – I will dutifully reflect on this,” Umi says, shamefaced, at the same moment Eli says “I guess I just don’t feel sad right now.”

Umi studiously ignores Honoka’s whooping and Kotori’s earnest encouragement. “E-Eli...sempai.”

Eli locks her hands behind her back, just as she had done by the tree. “Sorry, Umi,” she says with a nonchalant shrug. “I guess we’ll just have to go back and do some more practising, huh?”

Umi should feel embarrassed. And she does, certainly – it was hard enough to perform this song with Eli in front of everyone, but to hear that her real feelings had so obviously bled through is downright mortifying.

But she doesn’t hesitate for a moment. “I guess we will,” she says, to Eli’s answering joy.


End file.
